Ep 86: How To Control Anger In A Relationship
How do you get anger in a relationship under control?
That’s a very big topic. In this short episode, we’re giving you a few important pieces of background about anger plus one simple tip to use when you or your partner get angry.
If anger turns to abuse or violence, get help immediately.
Relationships don’t get angry, people do. But relationships suffer from the impacts of people’s anger.
Simmering anger, yelling, cursing, muttering under the breath … over time this creates an environment of fear and distrust.
I can still remember the feeling I had a kid when my dad was angry. Even if he was outside, and I was inside, I still could feel it, afraid of what might happen if it got worse.
Sometimes anger seems to stem from a direct source, FX you got angry because your partner called you a derogatory name, or I get angry because my body breaks down so I can’t do what I want to do.
Sometimes anger is a habitual response to any form of discomfort. FX, you might notice, as has been true about me, that you get angry when you feel scared, sad, hurt or insecure. I’ve talked to a lot of men who, like me, have learned that anger is a more acceptable feeling to display than sadness or fear or insecurity, so without thinking we overlay these other feelings with anger. To those around a person like that, it simply seems to them that he angry all the time, because his habitual response to any sort of discomfort or uncertainty is anger.
Whatever the apparent source of anger, it can almost always be boiled down to one simple thing: A person gets angry when there’s something they want that they’re not getting, or that they think they can’t get.
An angry person is almost always thinking, consciously or unconsciously, to themselves, “I’m not gonna get what I want … I never get what I want”.
Think about it … Listen to the whole episode to get the rest (or watch the video version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGVpbe52df0)
Of course, anger and hurt in relationship are to be expected. That’s why we designed a 90-minute mini-workshop for couples to address that very topic. It’s called How To Stay In Love, Even When You Get Hurt Or Angry.
In this workshop, you’ll experience and learn …
Deep connection with your partner
Insight into what has you feel love, loving, loved
Ideas for how to recreate that in-love feeling
A powerful process for finding love in anger
Concrete practices for how to stay in love
It’s designed for you to be able to do in one morning and then get on with your day.
Learn more here: https://loveworkssolution.com/how-to-stay-in-love/