LoveWorks Podcast

Ep 83: My Husband Doesn’t Value Me

If you have the experience that your husband/BF/partner doesn’t value you, you probably feel hurt, angry, sad, or all of them in combination.

Feeling unvalued impacts your own self esteem and spills over into the quality of your entire relationship, and you might be questioning yourself, the future of your relationship, and whether there’s something wrong with your partner, your relationship, or yourself.

Feeling unvalued by your partner can show up in a myriad of ways. Perhaps he …

Doesn’t listen to you
Doesn’t tell the truth
Doesn’t prioritize you
Gives you the silent treatment
Offers little or no connection and communication
Gives romantic or sexual attention to other people
Belittles you, uses demeaning comments
Doesn’t spend time with you and/or your family
Speaks poorly of you in public
Ignores or doesn’t honor your boundaries
Doesn’t include your opinions and concerns
Offers little or no appreciation, affection, or loving gestures.

And that’s not an exhaustive list.

If this describes you and how you feel about your partner, what can you do?

Our first tendency when we’re not getting what we want in relationship, is to get the other person to change their behavior. In this case, you might find yourself criticizing and nagging at him way more than you like, in an attempt to get the message across that you want something to change.

When we’re unhappy with our partners, we often come at them with lists of rules for how they should behave. Whereas it’s perfectly understandable that you want his behavior to change, this approach will not give you what you want. Even if you’re 100% right about your complaints and all your friends agree with you. If that approach worked, all we needed to do to have perfect partners was to tell them exactly what they’re doing wrong and how they should behave, and we’d be done.

Listen to the full episode (or watch the video version here: https://youtu.be/-EOXgPZmAu0)

Also check out our newest virtual mini-workshop, How To Stay In Love:

We love to feel in love. But anger and hurt can take us out of love. How do we stay in love? What keeps us in that in love state? How can we get back to love when angry?

In this mini-workshop, uncover what produces that “in-love” feeling, and discover how to get back to love when hurt or angry.

Some of what you will learn and experience:

  • Deep connection with your partner
  • Insight into what has you feel love, loving, loved
  • Ideas for how to recreate that in-love feeling
  • A powerful process for finding love in anger
  • Concrete practices for how to stay in love

Stay in love here …