Ep 82: 10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Have you ever found yourself in the kind of relationship where you’re asking, “Am I in a toxic relationship?” or “Is this relationship really good for me?”
Toxic relationships are often complicated by being combined with a powerful attraction. We’ve had clients who one day are desperate to get out of an abusive situation, but the next day can’t wait to get back to their partner. It becomes like an addictive behavior where the “drug” of choice is the strong love/attraction you also feel.
Dr. Lilian Glass said back in 1995 that a toxic relationship is “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”
There are other definitions of toxic relationships, but the most important thing is that you can recognize if your relationship is one that’s not healthy for you, and then to empower you to do something about it.
We’ll offer 10 signs of a toxic relationship, plus some actions you can take to change your dynamic if you are in a relationship like this. Mind you, you don’t have to be in a relationship that can be classified as “toxic” in order for you to want to make serious changes. Whenever you feel unhappy, lonely, scared, or bored in your relationship, it’s worth getting some education and support.
#1 Physical abuse, pain, or violence
This one doesn’t have a lot of wiggle room. If you’re experiencing physical violence, pain, or abuse in any shape or form, it’s a toxic situation, and you should get out. Or at the very least get help. No one deserves to be physically harmed in their relationship, period.
#2 Name calling, belittling, demeaning
Do you feel like an “emotional punching bag” in your relationship? Are you being put down, belittled, constantly criticized? Which leads directly into #3 …
#3 Public humiliation, spreading of negative gossip about you
#2 above pertains to your private relationship and communication. #3 is outward-facing behavior. Does your partner humility you in front of friends or family? Spreads negative stories about you behind your back?
Listen to the episode to hear the rest of the signs of a toxic relationship (or watch the video version here: https://youtu.be/wo6o9mmS-R8)
The LoveWorks Solution is a practical and positive approach to marriage, relationship, intimacy, communication, and dating.
LoveWorks offers private coaching and relationship counseling to couples and singles, from anywhere in the world; as well as online and live workshops for couples and singles.
The LoveWorks Solution has saved marriages and helped singles find love, plus helped thousands of couples and singles deal with complex problems that arise in relationships, such as communication breakdowns, trust in relationships, insecurities in relationship, toxic relationship, emotionally unavailable men or women, deepening intimacy, finding the right partner, dating, and many, many more.
LoveWorks is founded by Sonika Tinker, MSW & Christian Pedersen, CLC, who have 35+ years of experience coaching and educating about relationships. They designed The LoveWorks Solution to be practical, applicable, fun and light-hearted, demonstrating that deep relationship work can be done in a positive way while having a good time.
* Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Loveworkssolution
* Get the free E-book, How To Save My Marriage (and many more free resources for your relationship), here: https://loveworksforyou.com/