Ep 81: How To Revive Intimacy
If you have the experience that your husband/BF/partner doesn’t value you, you probably feel hurt, angry, sad, or all of them in combination.
Feeling unvalued impacts your own self esteem and spills over into the quality of your entire relationship, and you might be questioning yourself, the future of your relationship, and whether there’s something wrong with your partner, your relationship, or yourself.
Feeling unvalued by your partner can show up in a myriad of ways. Perhaps he …
Doesn’t listen to you
Doesn’t tell the truth
Doesn’t prioritize you
Gives you the silent treatment
Offers little or no connection and communication
Gives romantic or sexual attention to other people
Belittles you, uses demeaning comments
Doesn’t spend time with you and/or your family
Speaks poorly of you in public
Ignores or doesn’t honor your boundaries
Doesn’t include your opinions and concerns
Offers little or no appreciation, affection, or loving gestures.
And that’s not an exhaustive list.
If this describes you and how you feel about your partner, what can you do?
Our first tendency when we’re not getting what we want in relationship, is to get the other person to change their behavior. In this case, you might find yourself criticizing and nagging at him way more than you like, in an attempt to get the message across that you want something to change.
When we’re unhappy with our partners, we often come at them with lists of rules for how they should behave. Whereas it’s perfectly understandable that you want his behavior to change, this approach will not give you what you want. Even if you’re 100% right about your complaints and all your friends agree with you. If that approach worked, all we needed to do to have perfect partners was to tell them exactly what they’re doing wrong and how they should behave, and we’d be done.
Listen to the full episode to get more background and the rest of the tips. (or watch the video version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wR_rlDudeY)
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The LoveWorks Solution has saved marriages and helped singles find love, plus helped thousands of couples and singles deal with complex problems that arise in relationships, such as communication breakdowns, trust in relationships, insecurities in relationship, toxic relationship, emotionally unavailable men or women, deepening intimacy, finding the right partner, dating, and many, many more.
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