Ep 47: Transitions – Avoiding Daily Breakdowns
You and your mate both come home from work. You expect to relax, chill, and reconnect. But somehow, you end up feeling stressed out and arguing!
That is one example of a daily transition going wrong.
Transitions are a “hidden regulator” of our daily quality of relationship and wellbeing. Hidden, because the vast majority of our transitions take place with no conscious thought. Regulator, because the content and quality of our transitions often determine if we feel great or terrible, or if end up connecting deeply with your partner or yelling at them.
Every day, we go through many transitions. The first transition of the day is from sleep to being awake. Then there’s another transition in going from your home to your work place. And on and on, all day, until you make your last transition of the day, going to sleep.
There are some transitions that commonly result in breakdowns and upset:
- Coming home from work. By yourself, or reuniting with your mate.
- Coming home from stressful work environment, and keeping the stress going even though you’re home.
- Kids coming home from school. Parents often have a different idea what this transition “should” look like than the kids do
- For blended families, when it’s time for the children to from one house to the other
- Evening time for couples: Transitioning from busy day/evening to a sensual space of (potential) love making
- Vacations. Going from “regular” working life to vacation mode
Looking at these examples, can you relate to having breakdowns and disconnects during those times? Like, when you think “bedtime” means having sex, but your partner thinks it means sleep? Or when you come home from work, expecting to relax in silence, but your partner can’t wait to talk and do stuff together? Or when you come home from tense or stressful work environment but you can’t the tension go? Or when you and your partner have been loving hanging out with your (step)kids, but now it’s time to send them to their other family?
In all these cases, and many more throughout our days and months, we end up with upset, disconnection, and stress because we don’t know how to do transitions consciously.
In our intro workshop, we teach a whole host of tools for this purpose. More info here …
Listen to the podcast for more ideas and insights.