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Podcast

#41

LoveWorks Podcast

Ep 41: What’s So Great About Workshops?

“I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing a relationship workshop – it was totally out of the question”

A married man who came to several of our workshops with his partner, told us this, and he added, “It wasn’t until a trusted friend told me about it and spoke very highly about it!”

And yet, this same man, who according to himself was not the workshopping kind, came back to several more workshops and has now been raving about the results he gained. Both him and his wife have stated that their communication, sex, and partnership are vastly improved, and they have referred several of their friends to our workshops.

If it weren’t for a trusted friend, this man would have never experienced a workshop and all the transformation he gained for himself and his relationship, and that’s a shame. 

We’ve been leading workshops for decades, and we’ve heard many of the myths or prejudices people have about workshops, so we thought we’d offer you some of the myths we’ve heard, plus our responses to them.

Of course, we’ve heard directly from our students how their participation in workshops have profoundly transformed their individual lives and relationships and marriages.

Listen to the podcast to hear our full responses to the myths and fears someone might about workshops. Spoiler alert: These myths and fears are just that … myths and fears.

Some of the myths and fears about workshops …

  • It’s all hippie antics, people getting naked, kum-ba-ya, touchy-feely stuff. (Actually, our workshops take place in professional hotel conference rooms and everyone’s fully dressed:)
  • You have to air your dirty laundry in public (Actually, you never have to say a word if you don’t want to. Besides, your “dirty laundry” is hardly ever useful to improve your relationships).
  • I’m ashamed to have problems – I should be able to handle it myself. Plus, relationship stuff should stay behind closed doors (Actually, it’s a bygone macho-ideal that you should be able to “go it alone”. Not getting help keeps you small and isolated).
  • It won’t work, won’t make a difference, We’ve done other workshops, didn’t solve our problem. (Actually, there’s no guarantee a workshop or any other learning method will fix everything. Relationship is a process, not a done-overnight one-time endeavor. Besides, even if you haven’t gotten the results you want yet, wouldn’t that be even more reason to keep trying?)
  • It’s a waste of time / don’t want to spend a whole weekend (We’ll freely admit it does take time to do a workshop. Time most of us would have benefitted from doing years ago. When’s the last time you spent a weekend just for you and your relationship? Besides, the time you spent will be returned to you many-fold in time saved arguing and fighting)
  • I’d rather go to therapy. (Therapy can be very useful, and many of our colleagues and clients are fine therapists. But it’s not therapy OR workshops. Best case, try both).
  • I want to, but partner doesn’t (Actually, our workshops are for individuals, singles, couples, anyone with a desire to improve their relationships and have more love in their lives. Even if your partner doesn’t want to come, you still can. Many do).
  • It’ll sort out itself out. (Actually, relationships don’t get better on their own, and no amount of hoping is going to change that. If you’re having relationship trouble, it’s like having a broken ankle and “hoping” it’ll get better by itself. Sure it might heal up somehow, but you’d be a lot better off seeing a doctor).

Why do a workshop?

  • It’s a fun and lighthearted way to do deep work on your relationships and yourself. We once had a married couple on the verge of divorce attend. After the first day, the woman exclaimed: “I can’t believe how much fun I’m having working on our marriage!”
  • Getting out of your usual environment. This breaks your habits and patterns and opens the door for transformation. You make your relationship work a fun getaway, and you get to escape the force of your screens and actually connect with you partner or other humans.
  • Learning new skills. An immersion like a two-day workshop is the best way to learn at lot – fast. Because you get to practice on the spot, you retain the new insights and tools much better. It’s a concentrated learning environment and you get a ton of “bang for your buck”, both time and money wise.
  • The power of the “mastermind”. Something happens with groups of people with like intention come together. The “mastermind” is the synergy of everyone’s minds. Everyone gets to tap into a larger wisdom than their own. Plus, in a group, others do your work for you. By watching another person or couple work on their issues, you get to reap the results without doing the actual work.
  • Investing in your relationships. Investing in your relationships is a must for keeping them thriving. You can’t just push the “autopilot” button on your relationship and hope it handles itself. Your investment of time, energy, attention, and money is an investment that keeps paying returns for the rest of your life.

About our workshops, Tania Choi, LMFT, whom we interviewed in episode 38, said after attending our weekends, “I’ve done Gottman, Harville Hendricks’s Imago, Hedy/Yumi’s Encounters in Intimacy, Stan Tatkin, Somatica Couples training, Family Life, New Life and multiple church marriage camps – nothing parallels the life changing, accessible and game-changing tools I learned at LoveWorks.” 

Listen to the podcast for full details.

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