LoveWorks Podcast

Ep 40: Positive Reframing

Powerful tools to shift yourself out of negative states of mind and situations.

Positive Reframes are are “mind tricks”, simple changes to your thinking that can change a negative situation or mood to a positive one, often quickly, even instantly.

Theses tools can help you when you feel small, powerless, insecure, sad, hopeless, jealous, stuck, or any other negative state.

1. Reframing

Definition – When an undesirable behavior or trait or situation is conferred a positive intention: reconsidering things in a positive, more empowering light. For example, when you say to yourself, “Ugh, I have to go to work”, you produce a sinking feeling inside. You assume the role of a victim; as if someone ordered you to do something you don’t want to do, but you have to. Like being a kid and having your mom or dad order you to clean up your room. If you reframe this statement to “I get to go to work”, you not only produce a more uplifting feeling inside, but you also declare that you are choosing to go to work. You might even appreciate the fact that you have work, and appreciate the fact that your work helps you put food on your table, pay for your entertainment, and much more.

In short, a simple shift of a few words in your mind can produce a vastly different experience and outlook for you. 

Other examples:

  • I have to  ➤ I get to
  • Shoulds ➤ Coulds
  • Make/Force/Effort  ➤ Allow/Invite 
  • Problem ➤ Opportunity
  • Permanent ➤ Temporary
  • Always ➤ Sometimes 
  • Slow/Stuck/Impatience ➤ Making Progress
  • Controlling ➤ Pro-active Planner
  • Endings ➤ New Beginnings
  • Problem ➤ Gift
  • Me or You ➤ Us/We   

2. Size Matters

Make yourself bigger in your mind when standing next to someone you feel inferior to or less confident around. In your imagination, blow yourself up to equal or slightly bigger than equal to this person or situation. This will equalize your relationship with this person or situation,  restore your sense of power and value, and positively influence your behaviors and actions.

3. Position Yourself

When jealous or insecure or feeling left out, you are imagining yourself on the outside. In your mind, put yourself in the center. Instead of your friends being together and you are on the outside, picture you and your friends all together on the inside. Instead of picturing your partner and your ex together with you on the outside, picture you and your partner together with the ex on the outside. This will reaffirm your position, re-establish your connection, and restore your sense of belonging. 

Listen to the podcast for the full story.