LoveWorks Podcast

Ep 31: Having Fun Improving Your Relationship (Short episode)

We often make a sharp distinction between work and play. We think of work as serious, as drudgery, as something we have to get through or something we should do. At work, we go through the motions only half engaged, present and expressed, doing what must be done. Play is what we do later, after we are done working and accomplishing the things on our logistics list. Play is separate from work.

When we think about improving our relationship, at making changes in our love life, it often seems like work. Hard work. Something we don’t look forward to. Talking about problems can seem like a negative endeavor with no real reward at the end, so why bother!

What if everything was play? What if we could bring an attitude of playfulness to our work? To chores? To our relationships? Just like children who play all day everyday, what if we played while driving the car, played while cleaning the kitchen or folding laundry or making the bed? What if we played at interacting, flirting, and making love instead of having everything be so serious? What if we had fun discovering each other in conversation? What if we had fun creatively coming up with solutions to our disagreements and problems?

If single, what if we played a game to collect dates, to not stop asking for phone numbers until we had three yes’s? What if it was fun to flirt when out at singles events?

Playing shifts our mood. Playing shifts our stories. Playing opens us to new possibilities. We are less afraid and take more risks when we play. We are more engaged, more present, more fulfilled, more creative, more connected.

Ask questions when you are resisting something or not looking forward to something. What am I thinking about this? Did I choose this thought? What could I think instead? How could I make this more fun?

A woman shared today that she took on a goal to work 1-20 minutes a day cleaning her office. Instead of thinking, “This room is disgusting. It is going to take forever”, she now playfully thinks, “Hmmmm…. I wonder what am I going to get to clean today?” 

Another woman shared that she is playfully initiating intimacy and sex with her husband after spending a weekend at a dancing event. “I feel sexy. I am shimmying while folding laundry, knowing I am cleaning off the bed for later.”

A man shared how much more fun he is having with his fiancé since he took time to learn how to express himself. 

Bring play to your work. Bring play to your chores. Bring play to your dating and relationships. Play in the face of adversity. Play with manifesting miracles. Play with creating new habits. Shimmy while you fold laundry. Play music and sing while driving. Do dance breaks at work. Notice what shifts!!

If you want to have a more enjoyable time improving your relationship, have a serious (:-) look at our Give Yourself To Love workshop …