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LoveWorks Podcast

Ep 1: Single And Starved For Touch And Sex

Do you ever feel starved for touch, intimacy, and sex? Do you get afraid this state of affairs will go on forever?

If you’ve been single for a long time, it’s no wonder if you long for touch. It’s a human need to not only be seen and acknowledged, but feel the touch and warmth of another loving human being.

To avoid feeling lonely and panicked about being single forever, and desperate for touch, here are a few things you can do.

  • Get massages from the gender you want a relationship with! Feeling a man or woman’s hands on your body can be very nurturing and healing.
  • Touch yourself – both sensually and sexually. Include fantasies of your ideal partner as you do so.
  • Really imagine yourself being in intimate loving relationship with someone to give yourself the experience NOW that you are wanting. Let yourself fantasize like crazy!
  • Find someone with whom you feel safe to cuddle or sleep – a cuddle buddy. You could even create a “friends with benefits” arrangement to take care of your sexual needs. We’ve had singles in our LoveWorks programs make agreements to be each other’s “holding buddies”.
  • Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, find a story to live inside of that is empowering and expansive.

Another useful technique is to “play out” the worst case scenario. Something interesting happens when you can (in your mind) make it ok to experience what you fear the most. When you can make your worst fear ok, you don’t have to be afraid of it happening for real.

So what if you were never going to be in a relationship?

Imagining a future without relationship may free you up to not “look” for someone and get on with creating purpose and meaning and love in other places. It might also free you up to be yourself with everyone you date – to be less cautious and careful – and therefore more likely to actually create relationship.

On the other hand … What if you KNEW your relationship was on its way to you?

Believing wholeheartedly that your relationship is coming may also free you up to not “look” or worry.

What if your desire for relationship wasn’t personal?

What if it was a spiritual calling, and unseen forces are at work preparing you to meet your partner?

What if you trusted that the universe is in process of lining things up for you and your soul mate?

What if you knew there wasn’t anything wrong with you that is keeping you from meeting “the One”, but it is only because your partner isn’t quite ready yet?

Settling into trust and relaxation and heart opening love is paramount to successful singledom AND successful coupledom. Success at either and both requires that we be experts at managing our minds, at trusting that we will create a great life no matter what shows up!

How would you be if you trusted that Spirit has something beautiful and right for you in mind when it comes to love?