Why Play And Fun Matter In Your Relationship

          I remember sitting with my grandparents in the kitchen during one of our family trips to their home in Monterey. With a twinkle in her eyes, my grandma told me about the time she put water in grandpa’s shoes that were stored in the...

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The Victim Strategy in Relationship

What is your first response when you hit a wall? When your partner disappoints you or when you don’t get what you want? Do you … Back off in defeat? Get angry and lash out? Feel hurt and freeze up? Question your own choices? Blame, complain or fight? Quietly rehearse...

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The Purpose of Your Relationship

          When I was in college, a girlfriend and I went on a trip to the East Coast. When we arrived at our destination, we were quite surprised to find out we had very different expectations of our trip. This resulted in a great deal of...

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A Netflix Relationship Just Like Yours

        Sonika and I enjoy a good series as much as the next binge watcher. Given our profession, it’s perhaps not surprising that we like shows where human relationships are front and center, such as This Is Us and A Million Little Things. But...

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How To De-Escalate Conflicts In Your Relationship

“We go from zero to a hundred in no time – there’s no in-between!” A woman in our last workshop described how she and her husband often end up in loud arguments, seemingly out of nowhere. She honestly shared how they start cussing and name calling, saying things like,...

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Relational Disconnection

I’m reading a great book called Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria by Dr. Beverly Tatum. In the chapter I was reading this morning, she talks about the difficulties of having conversations about racism, and it struck me how much it applied to...

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Thoughts Are As Real As A Poke In The Eye

She caught him watching porn. She had borrowed his computer to look up something on Google and was caught by surprise when an image flashed on the screen. She was devastated. She felt hurt and betrayed and wasn’t sure she could trust him anymore. She had confronted...

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My Relationship Isn’t Perfect

Do you ever feel that your life and family don’t match the happy images you see on commercials? Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, in a recent FB post, referred to happy-family commercials as “family porn”. Like porn – videos or images produced to elicit sexual arousal...

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