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Marriage

Why Play And Fun Matter In Your Relationship

          I remember sitting with my grandparents in the kitchen during one of our family trips to their home in Monterey. With a twinkle in her eyes, my grandma told me about the time she put water in grandpa’s shoes that were stored in the...

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The Purpose of Your Relationship

          When I was in college, a girlfriend and I went on a trip to the East Coast. When we arrived at our destination, we were quite surprised to find out we had very different expectations of our trip. This resulted in a great deal of...

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A Netflix Relationship Just Like Yours

        Sonika and I enjoy a good series as much as the next binge watcher. Given our profession, it’s perhaps not surprising that we like shows where human relationships are front and center, such as This Is Us and A Million Little Things. But...

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Working as a Team in Your Relationship

        I have had a lot of experiences in life when I made a decision to do something that I knew my partner didn’t want me to do. Each time, the satisfaction of getting what I wanted was short lived, followed quickly by fights and upsets that...

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Feeling Judged in Your Relationship

Do you ever feel judged and criticized by your partner? Do you have the sense that your husband doesn’t value you or your wife doesn’t respect you? Do you hear a lot of pointed statements that start with, “You are so ….”? Or perhaps you are the one to speak statements...

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How To De-Escalate Conflicts In Your Relationship

“We go from zero to a hundred in no time – there’s no in-between!” A woman in our last workshop described how she and her husband often end up in loud arguments, seemingly out of nowhere. She honestly shared how they start cussing and name calling, saying things like,...

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Relational Disconnection

I’m reading a great book called Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria by Dr. Beverly Tatum. In the chapter I was reading this morning, she talks about the difficulties of having conversations about racism, and it struck me how much it applied to...

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Having Fun in Relationship

Have you ever heard the saying, “Couples who play together, stay together”? A quick Google search into this saying yields some interesting hits, for example a study from 2012 [https://berkeleysciencereview.com/2012/01/couples-who-play-together-stay-together] where...

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The Subtle Ways Trust in a Relationship Is Broken

I was coaching a couple this week about how they take turns getting angry and shutting down in silence. During our session, she said she often felt a lack of trust, which impacted her desire and ability to open up to him. This is a frequent comment from couples. Plus,...

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