How often do spouses wonder how to make their partner happy? Do you ever wonder how to make your husband happy? Does it sometimes seem that what you’re doing must not be working, because he doesn’t seem all that happy?
(Next week, we’ll publish a post about making your wife happy)
Making your husband happy is one of those instances that often seem difficult, but at its essence is quite simple. I’ll give you a brief 4-point list for how to make him happy. Don’t take my word for; try it out and see what happens. I use all four as a permanent part of my marriage and I have a very happy husband (editor’s note: Christian here, she’s telling the truth:-)
Without further ado, here we go:
#1 Tell him he’s a good man!
I have seen countless men burst into tears when they finally get to hear this from their wife/partner. Men are working so hard to make us happy and to do the right thing, so when they get to hear “You’re a good man”, it touches them deeply.
Men often have a very hard time believing their own worth, so it really helps when they can hear it from you, the person who’s opinion they care about the most.
#2 Give him points for effort.
Giving points for effort means to appreciate him for what he does do, instead of pointing out all the things he doesn’t do. It means to give appreciation even when he makes a gesture that doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to. Give appreciation for trying.
Many men have a strong internal critic, so whenever they hear even a tiny bit of criticism from you, it’s as if it invalidates everything they did do, and they end up feeling inadequate and unappreciated.
The more you appreciate your husband for what he does do, the more it inspires him to want to do more, give more, because men are motivated by the reward of appreciation and the result of you being happy.
Appreciation is more effective than criticism, only 100% of the time!
#3 Respect his choices
How often does your husband do something you simply don’t get? Where you might be shaking your head?
It’s crucial to realize that everything he does makes sense from his point of view. There is a reason for everything he does, even if you don’t understand or approve of that reason.
At the very least, when he make a choice you don’t understand, get curious about his motivations, ask him about it instead of condemning it. You can even be his sparring partner and constructively challenge his choices and decisions, but make sure your challenge is delivered in that spirit, and doesn’t become a polished way to criticize.
When you respect his choices, he feels respected and will in turn have much higher regard for you.
#4 Share your physical affection and appreciation
When we lead our sex workshops, one of things that surprises and touches me every time is how poetic, loving and spiritual men become when they talk about what sex and physical affection gives them.
In stark contrast to the stereotype that men only want sex to “get off” or that they just want you for your body, they will describe how profoundly it touches and resets them when they get to share sex and touch with you.
So when we say yes to sex and touch, it fills them up in ways we might never understand. Plus, it feels good to us when we make love too; to get in our bodies and enjoy our sensual connection. Of course, this doesn’t mean you are somehow obligated, but say yes whenever you can. I do, and I appreciate it every time I do.
That’s it for now … if you take on these 4 simple steps you will definitely see results in terms of a happier husband.
Let me know how it goes for you.
PS. Here’s a chance for a deeper connection with your partner: We all know how anger and hurt can take us out of love. And we all know how better it feels to be in love. So how do we stay in love? How can we get back to love when we get hurt or angry?
In this mini-workshop for couples, uncover what produces that “in-love” feeling, and discover how to get back to love, even when someone gets hurt or angry.
Some of what you will learn and experience:
- Deep connection with your partner
- Insight into what has you feel love, loving, loved
- Ideas for how to recreate that in-love feeling
- A powerful process for finding love in anger
- Concrete practices for how to stay in love
Find out more here: https://loveworksforyou.com/how-to-stay-in-love/